I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
