And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
