Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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