So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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