If that was your dad, he is hot
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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