We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
