it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
