No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
