Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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