yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
