I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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