You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
