so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
