just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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