Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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