it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
