Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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(901): View more from Tennessee

i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

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(434): View more from Virginia

some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia

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(740): View more from Ohio

mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.

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