Say something about gay babies.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize