Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
