i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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