I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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