Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
