just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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