Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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