He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
