Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
only you would photoshop your dick
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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