Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
