She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
