how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
