What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
