The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
