i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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