Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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