haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
