If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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