so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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