i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
