every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
