I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
