would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will be naked everywhere
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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