i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just google imaged poop.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
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Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night