Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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(212): View more from New York

I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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(302): View more from Delaware

then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize

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(615): View more from Tennessee

those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants

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(518): View more from New York

Did he at least walk u home

(1-518): View more from New York

He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home

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