I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music