Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
