You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize