also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
