Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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