I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
