think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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