I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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