dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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