between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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