Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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