HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
