I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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