There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think i have herpe
just one?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
