Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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