Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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