i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
