so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
